12/21/2020 0 Comments The Wife SpeaksI asked my wife to write down her experience of when I went through Covid-19. I am so grateful for my wife and her dedication to our family and taking care of literally everything while I was quarantined from not only the world, but my family. She is a woman of immense beauty and courage, and I love her so very much. Here is what she wrote:
Surrender Provisions Trust-romans 8:28 I have been so blessed by the Lord’s unmerited favor. Having walked through a trial like this I want to glean exactly what the Lord has for me and I see His provisions in so many ways. The Lord is teaching me to depend solely on Him trusting in Him in every aspect of my life and not compartmentalizing when I feel like I want to do it my way. Complete and utter reliance despite the outcome knowing that my God will supply all my needs and He knows the plans He has for me. Seeing my husband go through this has been so hard. He is the one I looked to as my covering and to provide. Stepping into both roles was not fun or easy. In the 11 years I’ve known Micah whenever he’s gotten sick and I can count it on one hand. It lasts about 24 hours maybe 48 hours and he bounces back. Not like me when I get sick. But this was different, no one knows how Covid is going to react in their body. It meets you at your weakness. But regardless, quarantining away from a spouse is weird and unnatural and should never be. I’m a problem solver, I like to fix problems or at least run along side you when there’s a problem but this was a hard one. I wasn’t allowed to fix this problem or at least care for him. All I did other than fill up his water cup which was in the middle of the hall way and put down food when he was hungry which wasn’t often. Micah solely cared for himself. I barely saw him other than through FaceTime. When I did see him it was from 6 ft or more away. And not for very long as he was too weak to stand for more than 5 mins and chat or I got called away. The lighting wasn’t very good and he was always bundled up by a hoodie so I never realized how much weight he lost. On Day 11 after he took a shower and came out. It was a glorious oh so sweet moment. I was really surprised to see how much weight he lost. He was pale and gaunt. He just seemed so frail. He sat down on the couch and I honestly couldn’t stop staring at him I was just taking it all in. It was so long that we were apart struggling on two separate journeys. I know the Lord had worked on us both. Just having there in front of me, emotionally my love tank was full and I was content. Our baby Jesimiel. Has been teething and doesn’t sleep through the night. I’ve been trusting in the Lord to help him through and to sleep longer than a 2 hours at a time. I’m just wanting for change, I’m waiting for this to relent but there is no end insight. The Lord brought to my knowledge that the situation isn’t going to change but my trust needs to. I need to exercise my trust which produces faith. Faith is the evidence of things unseen and the evidence of things hoped for. My capacity to trust has increased-a provision. As a result I have joy in my long suffering and I am able to delight in the Lord, remember His goodness and His faithfulness. I become less of me and more in Him. He must increase I must decrease. Here is a list of the things I saw the Lord do!!!
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